why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
