Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
