Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
