so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
