dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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