This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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