I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
