I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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