i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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