OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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