This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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