STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
