he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Randomize
