so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
