Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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