god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
