I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
