Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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