life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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