Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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