What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
