just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Randomize
