Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
