Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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