Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
