I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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