was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
