im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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