some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
