I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
We're using joints as your birthday candles
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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