Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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