R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Randomize
