he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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