Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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