im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
