It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
