So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
