I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
