i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize