Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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