Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I love you. Go after that dick
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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