Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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