It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
