I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize