i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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