Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
third nipple confirmed
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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