apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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