i permit you to call me
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
