Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
