Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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