so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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