his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
She tied me up with her honor cords...
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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