i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
