Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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