So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize