Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
